The Kind of Grandpa I Want (and don't want) to Be

So, I’m a grandpa married to a grandma, and the joy has just begun. As an official member of the club, I’ve heard from other club members how awesome membership is and all the great moments that await me. Bring 'em on!

MJ’s life right now consists of eating, sleeping, and filling his diaper. He’s still figuring out mom and dad, so knowing grandpa will have to wait just a little bit longer. But it won’t be wasted time for me. I’ve been thinking about the kind of grandpa I want and don’t want to be.

I want to be a grandpa who loves unconditionally. MJ, his siblings, and his cousins will receive that love from their parents, that’s for certain, but I want him to have my love without any strings attached. He doesn’t have to earn my love. He won’t be loved more or less by what he does or doesn’t do. He’s loved because he’s my grandson. I don’t want to be a grandpa that expects behaviors and rewards them accordingly. Like his daddy before him, I hope MJ will grow to love me because I first loved him (1 John 4:19).

I want to be a grandpa who initiates conversations that inform MJ about the present world and the world to come. I’m new at this, but I’ve been around grandparents my whole life. I’ve done most everything a grandson can do with his grandparents. Instruction and counsel from Don and Marian Christensen stay with me until today. I don’t want to be the kind of grandpa who refuses to talk about hard realities for fear of my grandchild’s response to me. I’ve lived a long time, have benefitted from God’s patient shaping of my life, see life from the perspective of time, have witnessed God’s care for me and our family, and have much to offer MJ and the rest. I cannot stand by idly as the years go by hoping for the best; instead, I must choose to speak to him with gracious words that will point him toward Christ and away from himself (Ephesians 4:29).

I want to be a grandpa who helps MJ’s mom and dad with discipline while leaving the correction to them. MJ’s perfect with the exception of that pesky sin nature he’s carried with him from birth. That sin nature will express itself and require a righteous response from his parents. Like my grandmother and mom, I won’t like when his mom and dad correct him. It will pain me to see his discomfort. So, I won’t be the one correcting him, but I can be the one helping to discipline him. I can be the one showing him the righteous way to speak. I can be the one who helps him to obey his mom and dad and our Lord. I don’t want to be a grandpa who confuses the roles. So, no spankings or groundings from me, but all the aid in discipline I can offer (Deuteronomy 6:2).

I want to be a grandpa who helps MJ’s mom and dad be the best parents they can be. I want to say yes when they call asking for my help, even if my yes is inconvenient for me. We live hundreds of miles apart, but if the time comes when we live closer, I want to pick him up from practice and take him to his oboe and piano lessons. I want his parents to drop him off so they can have dinner together or spend a few days riding roller coasters or walking New Hampshire’s shorelines. I want to share Brenda with them at a time when I should get her all to myself. I’m tempted to think, “I’ve been sharing her with our children for the last 29 years; she’s all mine now.” But that’s selfish. I want to allow them to have her as much as they want. Sure, I’ll eat Dorito’s and drink Pepsi for dinner while she’s gone, but I’ll survive. I do not want to be a grandpa who sees these later years as mine, unencumbered by the needs of littles and their parents (Galatians 6:10).

I want to be a grandpa who is positive. I don’t want to be a grumpy old man. I’ve watched a lot of grandparents up close and personal in my role as a pastor. Many of them are very sweet, see the goodness of God all around them, wear a smile, and only have good things to say about others. And then there are those older people who are critical of church members, other family, store employees, the postman, children in the neighborhood, their spouses, the church piano player, and whatever or whoever else is in their crosshairs on a given day. Generally, I don’t want to be around them any longer than I have to be. By God’s grace, my grandchildren will not think that about me (Philippians 2:14).

I want to be a grandpa who makes much of Jesus. For more than a few years as I’ve seen this day approaching, I’ve pondered a time when one of my descendants does not know Jesus. It’s fearful to me to think of a future where our Lord must again send an evangelist to tell my grandchildren about Jesus. Our Lord did that already in the 1960s when he sent the Baptist pastor to my grandparents door to tell them the gospel. Four generations of Christians have followed Jesus since that day. But I have cousins who do not know Jesus, who do not know of his love for them, and who once again need an evangelist to them the good news. At present, my greatest fear is another evangelist will be necessary for one or more of my grandchildren too. I do not want to be a grandpa who talks about sports, school, hobbies, career, but doesn’t talk about Jesus. I want a common subject in my home, in my car, on my boat, and as we walk to be the beautiful Son of God and his love for us (Romans 10:14).

God says, May you see your children’s children (Psalm 128:6). Like other of God’s gifts I was foolish to loathe the day when I would be called grandpa, thinking that somehow labeled me old and decrepit. I have received one of God’s richest gifts. There will be a learning curve as there is with all God’s gifts to us, but I want to be a good steward of that gift for God’s glory and for MJ’s good.

May God grant me grace.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay

Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Keeping Their Memory Alive

Tomorrow, January 8, is a day of remembrance I hope you will recognize and not soon forget.

January 8, 2020 marks the 64th anniversary of the deaths of five young men giving the gospel to an unreached people group in the jungles of Ecuador in South America. In their memories we call them, “The 5 Ecuadorian Martyrs.”

You might know the name Elisabeth Elliot. Her husband, Jim Elliot, was killed that day along with the other young husbands and fathers, Nate Saint, Peter Fleming, Ed McCully, and Roger Youderian - all between the ages of 27-32 and, collectively, fathers to eight children ages seven and younger, with one more not yet born.

Blogger Tim Challies writes about the influence of their lives and deaths in both the short-term and the long-term.

The impact of their deaths, at least until now, appears to have been greatest among American evangelicals and the US missions movement.

In the US

Just days after the men were killed on January 8, 1956, LIFE magazine sent photographer and reporter Cornell Capa to cover the story, which was then published within the month. (You can now read the entire article online in its original printed form; Capa quotes at length from the diaries of Nate Saint and Peter Fleming.)

And within just a year of their deaths, Elisabeth Elliot, the widow of Jim Elliot, published Through Gates of Splendor, a best seller which told the story of these men and their mission to reach the Auca Indians. Soon after she also published Shadow of the Almighty, which focused more particularly on her late husband and the broader scope of his life.

These publications, along with many others then and afterward, helped make the deaths of these men famous in America and around the world. Their story inspired a generation and is said to have resulted in hundreds more joining the mission field and millions more dollars being given toward the cause.

One indicator of the ongoing influence of their story is that, on the 50th anniversary of their deaths, another book was released (End of the Spear, written by Steve Saint, Nate Saint’s son) as well as a major motion picture by the same title.

Among the Aucas

Though the majority of their influence may be on their homeland, the ministry of the men who died has not failed to bear fruit among the Auca as well.

Around the same time End of the Spear was released, Christianity Today published an article retelling the missionaries’ story and updating us on what has happened among the Aucas since that time. After their husbands’ deaths, some of the widows stayed on to continue ministering to the tribe, seeing some of them come to faith.

According to the Billy Graham Center archives, at least two of the men who had participated in the murder became Christians; and in 1966 they traveled to Berlin to give their testimonies at the World Congress on Evangelism.

The sudden deaths of those faithful to Jesus Christ is as old as the events of the New Testament. The names Jim Elliot, Nate Saint, Peter Fleming, Ed McCully, and Roger Youderian stand alongside the names Stephen, John the Baptist, James, and the unnamed “of whom the world was not worthy.”

There will be more until the Lord returns to take us home. We will mourn their loss and cringe at their suffering, but we will rejoice at their faithfulness to a faithful savior. And they will serve as models to us of an unflinching faithfulness to Christ in the face of our oppression, great or small. We will discover when the time comes that as our Lord granted grace to them, he will grant grace to us.

May God continue to use their brief ministries and long memory for his glory and for the good of people.

Other Resources from Challies

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay

Pastor for Preaching & Vision

Let's Do This Together

I don’t have a strong opinion on the whole idea of New Year’s resolutions. If they work for you, go for it. If they are only going to add to the stress you already feel, what’s the point? There is probably a better way for you. But I do think there is necessity in planning for improvement.

There is little good accomplished apart from intention and planning. Clearing the recent snow requires the intention to shovel and the plan to buy a shovel to move the snow. Without either, you’re likely to have that dreaded packed snow driveway, which if it doesn’t irritate you, will irritate your father-in-law when he comes to visit his new grandson.

They probably exist somewhere in Christianity, but I have yet to meet the people who read, study, and know the Word of God without both intent and plan. I do know many people who intend to read the Bible, but they have no plan to follow. Sadly, the reality is too many of us who hear the faithful preaching of the Word of God in our churches spend very little time in God’s Word other than Sundays.

Would you like to change that for yourself? Then let’s read the Bible together. Christianity is always personal but never private, and that includes our Bible reading. We cannot meet every morning or evening for Bible reading, but we can plan to read together.

If you’d like to join me in reading the Bible, I have two suggestions and invite you to choose one with me.

Option 1: Read the Proverb of the Day. This simple plan has been a favorite of many since personal Bibles became the possession of anyone who wanted one. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs. Simply read the Proverb that corresponds to the day. January 1 read Proverbs 1. January 2 read Proverbs 2, and so on. If you miss a day, just pick up by reading the chapter that matches the current day. There is no requirement to go back and catch up, though you certainly can if you’d like.

Option 2: This is the plan I’ll be following in 2020. It’s a great plan for many reasons, and I think can fit into the lifestyles of virtually everyone. The 5 Day Bible Reading Program takes you through the whole Bible from January 1 – December 31. The plan is kind of chronological but not exclusively. 5 days instead of 7 allows for catchup if you miss a day. The plan is free and downloadable, and for those who need paper in front of you, you can print off the plan and mark the days as you go.

So, who’s with me? If you want to read the Bible together, text me or reply that you’re in. The first of every month, I’ll let the group know how I am doing in my Bible reading, and we can encourage each other in their Bible reading.

Most of my readers are more than familiar with the positives for reading and studying God’s Word. You know the Bible is a lamp to your fight and a light to your path. You know it’s the source of wisdom and that Bible intake will keep you from giving into temptation. What you need is a community of people to help you read the Bible. I know a group of people who can help you. I’m one of them, and I need you to help me.

So, let’s read the Bible together. I look forward to hearing from you.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision

The Person They Should Have Selected for Person of the Year

The list is significant for who has made it. Since 1927 Time magazine has identified a person or group who “for better or for worse... has done the most to influence the events of the year.” The winner graces a year-end cover bearing the title, Person of the Year.

Every serving president (with the exception of Calvin Coolidge who was in office only for the first issue) has received the honor, so too Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Mahatma Gandhi, MLK, Queen Elizabeth II, multiple communist leaders from China, the U.S.S.R. and Russia, and most recently Greta Thunberg. At 16, Miss Thunberg is the youngest recipient of the recognition.

There can be little question that each name on the list contributed to the state of the world in the year in which they were recognized. Some started wars, while others brought them to a close. Some were loved by the masses, while others were hated by the multitudes. Some possessed great wealth and others lived in simple surroundings. Most are powerful, but not all of them. Four are women, which is an under representation.

This year, editors from Time considered five candidates, concluding Greta Thunberg was the clear and obvious selection. But they could have done better, so much better. Read the achievements of this person. In the last year, this person…

  • Provided intimate treatment for untold numbers suffering from PTSD.

  • Delivered financial assistance to single mothers, to fathers recently unemployed, and to those living on fixed incomes.

  • Irrigated croplands worldwide and provided drinking water in developing countries.

  • Offered wise counsel to young adults in college and those new to the realities of their careers.

  • Blew the whistle on unlawfulness so that governments could prosecute offenders.

  • Influenced local, national, and world leaders to enact just policy and legislation.

  • Restored marriages by his intervention in what appeared to be hopeless situations.

  • Set free untold numbers captured in addiction to alcohol, gambling, recreational and prescription drugs, sexuality, and binge eating.

  • Calmed traumatized children and adults during and following episodes.

  • Comforted the bereaved during the funeral and later in their homes when alone in an empty house.

  • Saved a soldier’s life fighting in tribal conflicts in the Middle East.

  • Mended family relationships that many predicted would never be the same.

  • Cured breast cancer in a middle-age grandmother and prostate cancer in a 54-year-old man.

  • Restored sight to a blind person.

  • Gave a disable person the capacity to walk again.

  • Prayed for every Christian worldwide over and again throughout the year.

  • Held all the creation together by the authority and power of his person.

All this and much more this one who should have been acknowledged as Person of the Year accomplished without compensation for himself or cost to any person. This person’s work often went unthanked and unacknowledged. Frequently, his accomplishments were attributed to the efforts of others while many mocked what he tirelessly and generously performed.

His efforts on the behalf of humanity require no approved ethnic identity, professed creed, or social status. He does what he does out of deep love for all humanity. What's more, what he did this year, he will do again in 2020.

The Person of the Year is Jesus of Nazareth, the Son of God.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay

Pastor for Preaching & Vision

 

Why Do We Sing Some Christmas Hymns?

We are post-Christmas saints, so why do we sing Christmas hymns as if we are pre-Christmas saints? It seems a little odd for a group who already follows Jesus to sing, "O come, O come, Emmanuel" when he has already come.

An unintended consequence in a recent study of the book of Job is gaining deep insight into what it was like to be a pre-Christmas saint. Pre-Christmas saints knew of shadows and prophecies, doubts and waiting. A pre-Christmas saint wondered how to know God, what was in the holy of holies and, and what was behind the veil. They lived longing and hoping for the announcement that the promised one had come, so they sang…

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here,
Until the Son of God appear.

But none of that applies to us, so why sing it?

Actually, our condition is very much like the condition of the pre-Christmas saints. While in his grace God has granted to us his full revelation in the written word and by his Son, we still long for more. We are already saved, but not yet saved. We possess eternal life, though we know death is coming. We are full of joy and yet sorrowful. We are confident in hope yet full of doubts. The life of the post-Christmas saint is both Joy the world, the Lord is come! and O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.

The longings of the pre-Christmas saint and the post-Christmas saint are the same. We want Jesus to come and right the wrongs, end the conflict, bind the Wicked One, overcome death, bring universal peace and finish the work he began. So we sing, “O Come, Thou Rod of Jesse” and “O Come, Thou Dayspring” and “O Come, Thou Key of David” and “O Come, Desire of Nations.”

As you gaze back on the Bethlehem scene, you are not only looking at the fulfillment of so many prophecies, you are gaining the confidence that as he came once filling with joy those who were sorrowful, he will come again and fill all who sorrow now with a greater joy (Acts 1:11).

This advent season sing passionately both expressions in the Christmas hymns. They convey the experience of the Christian life and will point you again to Jesus.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Mike VerWay
Pastor for Preaching & Vision