Today, December 19, 2023, Brenda and I celebrate 36 years together as husband and wife. Ours is a marriage marked by God’s grace and nearly daily expressions of mercy. In marriage, grace from God generates acts of mercy toward each other, mercy that’s necessary when he gets on your nerves or when she fails to meet your expectations. We’ve lived this. Grace and mercy is the storyline of our romance.
Following the long description of the amazing woman depicted in Proverbs 31, the writer comments, “Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.”
I’ll give it a shot. Here’s my best effort to identify 36 expressions of praise for Brenda, one for every year of marriage. I’m writing this in one attempt – no editing and no returning later to finish the task. This should be easy. How hard can it be to come up with 36 expressions of praise for my wife? Starting time 1:10. Here we go.
Brenda has fulfilled her marriage vows to me for 36 years.
Brenda has given me four children. They came out of her body. Amazing, I know!
Brenda learned to drive a manual transmission because that’s the only transmission I would accept in my Mustang, and it was the only car we owned.
Brenda encourages relationships with my friends so that I ski, fish, hunt, golf, play ball, travel, go to games and more, all with her genuine approval.
Brenda is wise with our income, earning from me the nickname, “The Queen of Thrift.”
Brenda is not afraid to raise an objection or to wave a yellow flag of caution when she senses I’m drifting into a danger zone.
Brenda listens as I tell her my dreams and has, over the years, done whatever she can to help me fulfill my dreams.
Brenda accepts my impromptu and impulsive actions and views them as part of the package she acquired when she married me, often leading to shared fun between us.
Brenda is patient with me when tasks she has requested are not accomplished in a timely manner.
Brenda gives me a better reputation than I would have without her.
Brenda washes my clothes, irons my shirts, and matches my socks. I know how to do all those things and was doing them before we were married, but I have not needed to do the task for years. The socks magically appear in my dresser drawer.
Brenda makes phone calls for me to customer service because I have no patience when on the phone with customer service. As a bonus, her success rate with customer service is significantly higher than mine.
Brenda keeps our house clean, not like a museum clean, but tidy and, therefore, comfortable and inviting. I don’t have to move stuff to find a place to eat or sit. Anyone can stop by, or I can bring someone home and she’s not bothered by the appearance of our house. Of course, I know the rules, her laundry room is not a place for socialization, and I know better than to bring anyone there.
Brenda has never had a bent to change me. Help me improve? Sure. Make me something other than what I am? Never.
Brenda does not nag me; it simply does not happen.
Brenda tells me the truth.
Brenda laughs at my witty comments and juvenile actions. Our kids say she’s an enabler.
Brenda does not raise her voice to me.
Brenda prepares meals she knows I prefer and does not make food she knows I’d rather not have (like pancakes for dinner, tuna fish casserole, or spinach).
Though she has not had a full-time job since the first two years of our marriage, Brenda has found creative ways to contribute to our household income.
Brenda views my calling to ministry as her calling too. I could not do what I do without her disposition.
Brenda is fiercely loyal to me and will defend me against all.
Brenda will not criticize me to her sister, her friends, to anonymous social media accounts, or to people in her volleyball world who do not know me, even if the point of criticism is valid.
Brenda has been willing to try almost anything I suggest once. So, she’s climbed mountains, parasailed, squeezed the trigger on a .12-gauge shotgun, been with me in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean floor, and a lot more. The key word here is once.
Brenda cared for me as I recovered from multiple reconstructive knee surgeries.
Brenda makes me think I am needed by her, but I know I need her far more than she needs me.
Brenda has listened to more of my sermons than any other human, and she still chooses to sit in the front row, Bible open, pen in hand, readers perched on her cute, little nose, listening intently.
Brenda loved my mom and dad, was eager for their involvement in our family, and grieved at their deaths.
Brenda has been an amazing mom to our children, but I really think God made her to be a grandmother. She has GOAT potential.
Brenda is content with the life we share. She’s grateful for anything we have and does not complain about what we don’t have.
Brenda has learned to appreciate my eclectic music tastes, though she prefers I turn down the volume.
Brenda thinks positively about me, routinely giving me the benefit of the doubt.
Brenda works hard at whatever tasks are in front of her even when the tasks are unpleasant and will not leave a task unfinished.
Brenda approaches life more optimistically than I do, as a result she’s generally more pleasant than I am. It’s the rare occasion when I am not greeted with a warm smile.
Brenda loves the Lord and sincerely desires to live faithful to Jesus above all else.
Brenda kisses me, hugs me, takes my arm, and tells me she loves me.
Well, there you have it. It is now 2:22, a little over an hour to write out 36 expressions. That’s a good exercise for spouses to engage. That’s a good exercise for parents and children to engage in. It is a good exercise for church members to engage. It’s easy to think of the shortcomings and negative traits of those close to us. It’s not helpful to dwell on those thoughts. We build relationships, and we think better about God’s good gifts to us when we muse on traits and actions worthy of praise.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22
s always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.