Say "I Do" to Wedding Invitations

When the pretty envelope came in the mail, you checked the calendar and marked the day of the wedding. One or both of the wedding couple and you have been friends since grade school, and you wouldn’t miss the great day. Maybe you’ve been friends with the family for decades. You will happily drive hundreds of miles to witness the marriage.

On the other hand, there are some who see the envelope and declare, “I hate weddings!” Granted, these grumps are usually male, questioning why they should have to go to a wedding. When the day arrives, he reluctantly bows to his wife’s or mom’s pressure, puts on a tie, and reminds everyone, “The meal better be good.” Be patient with him; maybe someday he will discover witnessing a wedding is better than a ball game, a day on the lake, a round of golf, or his game system.

As the summer wedding season draws to a close, here are five reasons you should attend Christian weddings.

• To share with the family in an amazing event. The planning, the emotions, the extended family in town, the décor, the dresses, the little girls, the handsome groomsmen all shout out, “This is wonderful!” There probably isn’t a bigger day in the life of a family than a wedding day, and they’ve invited you to share it with them. And if the family and you worship and serve the Lord together in the same local church, your presence will lift their hearts. You are family too, albeit a different kind, and having you attend will grow your connection to these believers.

• To remind yourself of the vows you made and the love that brought you to the altar. Quite often (and in all the weddings I officiate) the vows the bride and groom make to each other will be the exact same words you and your spouse offered to each other. If your vows were different, certainly there are enough aspects of the ceremony in common with yours to remind you of the day you said, “I do.” It’s a good thing to recall the vows you made to your spouse in the presence of God and the gathered people. Face it, as the years pass the giddiness you felt at the altar seems so far away, as if it were another lifetime. In fact, you’ve learned through experience Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s quote to be true, “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”

• To enjoy yourself with the wife or husband of your youth (Proverbs 5:18). Life is routine, hard, and even monotonous. When you go to a wedding, you get to take a few hours off from life. It’s really a gift from God to you. So get dressed up, laugh, hold hands, have a good time! I’ll let you in on a little secret. You know the tradition of clanging the glasses when the guests want the bride and groom to kiss? Well, when Brenda and I are at a wedding and we hear the sound of fork touching glass, we kiss! Why should the bridal couple have all the fun!

• To aid the discipleship of the young couple. In months and years to come you may have occasion to say to them, “I was there when you made your vows. How’s it going in your marriage?” Your attendance at their wedding makes you a vital part of their marriage. They invited you into their lives. You may find there is occasion to stick your nose in and make sure their marriage is growing.

• To witness a shadowy suggestion of what will be a future reality when Jesus unites with His bride, the church. I don’t pretend to know all that it means to enjoy the marriage supper of the lamb (Revelation 19:9), but I do know this – It’s going to be the greatest wedding feast ever! When we attend weddings, God gives us a small, and I think an extremely small, taste of what the event with our Lord will be like. We’ve never laughed like we will that day. We’ve never danced like we will that day. We’ve never embraced like we will that day. We’ve never been satisfied like we will be that day. When you whoop it up at a wedding here, imagine what the scene will be when we in complete innocence experience the party with Jesus!

One last pastoral thought for the future bride and groom (or the parents of the same): make sure your wedding ceremony is a Christian wedding ceremony. For Christians, anything less will be less than satisfying. 

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

D*/@L!

We’ve talked about this before, but I think it bears repeating. Christians must not use the same words as those who do not follow Christ. +F$^dt and J*)! and A@&SV# do not belong in a Christian’s vocabulary, and should not be on a Christian’s tongue.

It’s Not Just Me

The language of the public arena is worse, much worse, than it was at the turn of the century. It is not that there are new words or different words, but rather, the proclivity of the use of those words. You are just as likely to hear a string of profanity sitting in McDonald’s watching your children in the play area as you are to hear them at a Vikings’ game or at the local VFW.

Words that previously were the domain of sailors are now common chatter among grandmothers, younger women, and young girls. Women have become the equal of men in their ability to fill the air with colorful language, yet without shame.

Pollution

Like contaminated ground water, foul language has seeped into the church and its families. As Western Culture declines, previously held values are a thing of the past. Words that got a dab of Dawn detergent on a little boy’s tongue are now the words of popular music and nearly every media outlet. Words that in times past were only used in the mechanic’s garage are now common in corner offices.

If the pollution stayed in those locales that would be one thing, but the proclivity of foul language in the Christian family and in individual Christians is more than concerning. While I cannot point to a research study to back up my claim, my opinion is Christians are using words previously restricted from Christian vocabulary at a much higher rate. Christians do not talk like those without Christ, like those without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. But that’s what is happening. “That’s just how I talk,” is justification for too many who claim to have had their hearts of stone changed to hearts of flesh.

Language Reveals the Heart

Some argue that individual words do not matter. They matter only because of the value and meaning society ascribes to them. What matters, some say, is what’s in your heart, and if one doesn’t mean to dishonor the Lord when using certain words, then the words they use should not be judged. Ok, I’ll concede the point, and consider your argument. Let’s talk about the attitude of the heart when cuss words leave a mouth.

Regularly and nearly to the point of universally, the use of swear words or curse words or four-letter words comes from a wicked heart. Think about it.

• A young man yells out T)yFF# because he is angry, a heart issue.

• A woman calls another woman a {L<>/H because the other woman will not be controlled by the first woman, a heart issue.

• A young man tells an otherwise dull story by using colorful words throughout his tale, calling great attention to himself in his prideful craving, a heart issue.

• A man frustrated by the actions of a son or daughter or the project that isn’t going as planned bursts out his go-to word that let’s everyone around him know life isn’t going like he wants it to go and that he deserves other than what he’s presently experiencing, a heart issue.

So, sure, the issue is not merely what comes out of your mouth but what’s going on in the heart, and the reality is that what is going on in the heart is not good.

Those without Christ may not be able to restrain and may not want to restrain what comes out of their mouths. It’s in their nature. They talk like they talk because they are what they are. But we are Christians, and the words that come out of our mouths must not be the words of those without Christ. I cringe when I hear a professing Christian use language that gives no indication of a changed heart. Such language does not please our Lord.

So, we pray as did the Psalmist, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

May the Lord grant us grace to have mouths that speak only words the come from hearts changed by grace.

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

How to Have Spiritual Conversations

We are humans, so we talk about stuff other humans discuss – the weather, our families, school, work, sports, restaurants, the weekend, etc. At the same time, we are Christians, so we also talk about Jesus, his word, his church, what he did in the past, what he’s doing in the present, and what he will do in the future.

Talking about the weather, our hobbies, or a bungling sports team seems easy enough. Having spiritual conversations is more difficult. I’ll save the reason for the difficulty for another time. For now, here are some suggestions for how to begin a spiritual conversation.

1. Ask if you can pray for them or for someone else in their life. I cannot recall ever having this request turned down. Whether someone in the lobby of our church building or someone I meet sitting at a table at McDonald’s, all have accepted the offer and told me of something that was going on in their life, opening an immediate opportunity to talk to God on their behalf and laying the groundwork for future conversation.

2. Chat about a shared Christian experience. For example, last Sunday morning we witnessed believer baptism in our gathered worship. We should chat with each other about the testimony we heard, the beauty of humility that takes place in immersion, the visual proof that the Lord is saving people, and the hope of generational Christianity to come. You can start with, “Wasn’t that great to see her baptized!”

3. Ask another Christian how they became a Christian. For every Christian there is the mutual answer, “I believed the gospel of Jesus Christ.” Beyond the common response is the individual story of God’s work of grace through a family member, a co-worker, a gospel tract, or an unexplained desire to read the Bible. You might say something like, “I don’t think I’ve heard how you became a Christian, but I’d love to hear the story. Would you tell it to me?”

4. Share a Bible verse or passage with another person. We know the Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path, maybe we can share the light with another walking a similar trail. The text message might be as simple as, “I read this verse today, and the Lord helped me by his word. I wanted to give God glory by telling someone else.” Then include the verse.

5. Ask another Christian for aid as you work through a situation. I don’t know all the Bible. You probably don’t either. The Lord has given the church to us for the strengthening, building, and maturing of each other (Ephesians 4:12-13). You could say, “Would you help me think through something? I don’t know where to turn in the Bible for the issue I am facing.”

6. Listen to what others are saying. The reality is people engage in spiritual conversations All. The. Time. whether they realize it or not. There is no topic nor experience that is outside the mind of God. All of life is a spiritual conversation – health, aging, money, children, family, career, marriage, entertainment – all of it centers on what God says about the matter. As you listen or when the chat is done, have a spiritual conversation with yourself. “What does God think about what we talked about? Do I think like God does about that matter?”

There’s a pattern in the suggestions. Did you notice it? The pattern is initiation. More often than not, I suspect spiritual conversations occur intentionally, that is, we make a choice to have them. We don’t wait for others to pursue God talk with us, we engage others in spiritual talks. We are Christians after all. What should be more natural to us than talking about our Lord?

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

A Letter I Read in Today's Mail

Mike,

What’s up? It’s been a while. Since you didn’t write much during the summer months, I thought I’d write to you. I’ve learned some things you might want to think about. I know, I know, I’m an old guy, but you would benefit from the years I’ve lived ahead of you. You will be me some day. Here’s some advice I think you'll be glad to receive.

• You’d be wise to find a mentor, not just an advisor but a mentor. You need someone who is close enough to you and someone you trust to tell you the things you may not want to hear, and you need someone who can give you direction for what lies ahead. You will serve churches outside of denominational structure and built in mentors. Do what you must to secure one.

• Pay more attention to Brenda as the days go by. Romance her in the mundane years of your marriage like you romanced her before you were married. You’re busy, and she’s got her hands full with all those kids, but you’ll be glad when you get to be my age that you pursued her in these child raising years.

• Do more to impact your kids for life and eternity than I did. You won’t regret it. How old are your kids anyway? How many do you have? Let me help you with something. Being a dad is incredible! At the same time, it’s hard work and, at times, a bit frustrating. Listen to me, it may seem like those kids will be around forever, but they won’t be. Your dad ministry to them is short-term with long-term impact.

• Take care of your body earlier. It gets harder the older you get. Your metabolism will slow down. You can’t eat french fries and drink Pepsi without consequences. The same holds true for all personal disciplines. Start them now; it’s much harder to start disciplines as you age.

• You will make mistakes. Some mistakes will happen because you are immature. You will make other mistakes because you think you know better. You don’t. You won’t know you’ve made a mistake until it happens. You’re not likely to prevent them. When you make a mistake, own it and move on.

• At your age it may seem like your mom and dad are a nuisance or interfering in your life. From time to time their phone calls might be an intrusion and their visits come at inconvenient times. I get it. We older people aren’t always understanding of your time and responsibilities. Still, when you get to be my age, you may wish for one more phone call. So let me suggest that you call your mom and dad or go see your mom and dad or find ways to spend time with your mom and dad more than you think is necessary.

• Would you consider learning a trade? Your dad is a really good mechanic, able to fix nearly anything. You like books, sports, traveling, and thinking, but you will benefit from a skill. So pick one – electrical, plumbing, carpentry, masonry, welding, HVAC – doesn’t matter which one you pick, I promise you will need it pretty soon.

• Learn a second language. You don’t know this, but the world is coming to the United States, and you’re going to get to see a good portion of the world. If you can learn a language, your travels will be all the more enjoyable, your experiences in cultures will go beyond what you can now imagine, and your potential for usefulness to the Lord will expand. It will be hard work, but God gave you a good mind. Put it to use.

• Value faithfulness over productivity. You’re a driven guy. You want to accomplish things, and you have accomplished some things early on in your life. But, you cannot control productivity. I don’t know what you will accomplish in the years to come, but I do know God values faithfulness in his servants more than he values productivity. You will find contentment in your own faithfulness and in the faithfulness of your co-workers much more than you will find satisfaction in your productivity or theirs.

• You can be moody from time to time. It’s not your best look. I understand how you feel. Sometimes you think life isn’t fair or your circumstances should be better than what you’re currently experiencing. Look, I don’t know if life is fair to you or not, and I can’t say if your circumstances are better or worse than anyone else’s, but here is what I do know and want to say to you: be happy because God has given you a lot. He has given you your salvation, his Son, his Spirit, and his Word. No matter what you don’t have or what you wish was different, choose to be happy. I promise you that you will be happy that you choose to be happy.

There’s more I can tell you, but knowing you, you may have skipped a few ideas already just to get to the end of this letter. It’s a fault we share. We aren’t very patient. So, I’ll stop right here. I hope you find my thoughts a help in some way.

Stay cool.

Mike

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

I'm Back

Back in the day, Michael Jordan took some time off from basketball to take a swing at professional baseball. When he sufficiently scratched the itch, he returned to the game with a two-word press release, “I’m Back.” MJ wore three numbers during his GOAT career – 23, 45, & 12 (look it up if you want to know the story). Having had a little time off from writing, I’m Back with 12 Thoughts from the Summer Months. Why 12? Because I don’t have 45 thoughts from the summer months, and no one wants to read 23.

1.There is serenity in pulling weeds. I find it one of the more peculiar realities of getting older. I hated, I mean HATED, pulling weeds as a child. Granted, pulling weeds often was punishment for meanness to my sister, but that’s for another time. Now, a nearly old man, not only do I not mind pulling weeds from the front yard grass, I also find it relaxing. I do some of my best thinking when uprooting unwanted plants.

2. Time goes by fast. My grandmother told me, “The older you get, the faster time goes by.” Where did the summer go? Where did the years go?

My times are in Your hand:
Jesus, the Crucified;
those hands my cruel sins had pierced
are now my guard and guide.

3. The local church is a necessity. Over the summer months, I’ve watched those bereaved, diseased, discouraged, burdened, confused, ashamed, and overwhelmed receive the care of the church as intended by our Lord. We need the church. I need the church.

4. Sin delivers deep pain. Whether our own sin, the sin of those we love, or the sin of complete strangers, sin brings chaos, delusion, conflict, loss, pain, and death. I pray with the psalmist, “Lord, rescue me from their destructions” (35:17).

5. Writer’s block is a real thing. Whether writing a thank you note, a college essay, a novel, or a weekly help for Christians, sometimes the words just won’t come. The cure? Just keep writing. Eventually you will land on the best words and ideas.

6. There are few things more glorious than a newborn baby. The Lord brought more of them to our church over the summer months. So much awaits that bundle of joy. From this little life the Lord will bless untold numbers for generations to come. As these little lives age, the Lord will show himself faithful as he has to me and to you.

7. Little to no contact with children is a sad life. I pondered this recently when I thought about the lives of a couple I’ve known for many decades. Now, both about 70 years old, they live without interaction with children. By choice, they had no children, which means no grandchildren. They are not believing people, so they do not interact with children on a regular basis in the life of the church. They live in a secluded part of the world, isolated from any neighborhood kids. Whether your own children or grandchildren or those in the church, the sounds and sights of twirling girls and wrestling boys makes me smile. This is one of the blessings of a church with multiple generations.

8. Elderly Christians and church members are a gift to the local church. “We have to get younger” was a phrase I overheard recently at a local cafe, made by a blue-haired lady to a patient old man. She was speaking of her church. We don’t have many old people in our church, but I am so very thankful for the ones we do have. They provide maturity, stability, history, and perspective. Our church is better because of them and loses a little when health separates them from us.

9. Psalm reading and memorization is good for the soul. Our church spent the summer reading the psalms and memorizing Psalm 1. Psalm saturation gives voice to my sorrows, wisdom in my choices, expressions of my gratitude, and a deepening of my intimacy with the Lord.

10. Working out regularly really does make you feel better. Though it may not feel like it over the last few days, Minnesota summers melt away like ice cream under the sun. Like many, I do everything I can to be outside during the summer months. That means I am not in the gym getting in regular workouts. Bodily exercise profits little, but it does profit. The Lord has given us some measure of how we feel by taking care of our bodies. So, back to the gym beginning next week.

11. Love is so much better than conflict. I’ve made a comment like this to Brenda a few times over the summer months. Paul writes, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Romans 14:19). It seems so obvious, but too often we’d rather fight than love. I’d like less of the former and more of the latter, and I have much control about which is more prevalent in my life.

12. I live a blessed life, one beyond my ability to express to the Lord or to people. Looking back over the summer months, I declare I have a great wife, “practically perfect in every way,” amazing children and beautiful grandchildren, a church who loves me, friends who want to be with me, good health, a capable mind, all my needs met, and a future that will include God’s amazing grace and wise leading. What more could I want or need?

As always, thanks for reading, and I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.