Yes, I Cried When I Gave My Daughter Away in Marriage.

"Her mother and I," with those words lives changed until death do we part.

I have presided over dozens of marriage ceremonies and have given a gracious smile to the father answering back those words to me. I now understand what it feels like to say those words and walk away from my daughter.

When our older son, Michael, married three years ago, I preached the marriage sermon in a similar way as I did last Saturday at Jennifer's wedding. Now married, Michael and I still enjoy the same relationship that we did before he made his vows. When I gave Jennifer away to James, our relationship changed, as it should. She now belongs to James and not to me. I gave her away.

James didn't have it easy with me when he first showed interest in Jennifer. I didn't meet him at the door with a shotgun, but I did make him pass some tests. If he was going to take my daughter away from me, he was going to do it with my blessing. My blessing would come to him after vetting him.

There is no man alive good enough for either of my daughters, but I also don't want them living at home forever either. And there's the person in my house who is interested in the title, "Grandma." So, I needed to get on board with the idea of my daughter marrying a man.

A few years ago, I contacted a number of older men I respect and asked them how they vetted the man each of their daughters married. I was stunned how little involvement the dads had before the wedding day. I wasn't willing to take that risk. I had a good idea of the kind of man Jennifer needed, and I wasn't willing to leave that to some guy's testosterone.

I needed answers to two primary questions.

1. Was this the kind of man Jennifer could follow? People can have much in common but still not be compatible over the long haul of marriage. Brenda and I know Jennifer, her strengths and areas of need. Her strength of character would carry her in most relationships, but for their relationship to blossom, she would need a certain kind of man.

2. Does he lead himself? A man will never lead other people if he isn't disciplined in leading himself. Young men should show growth in leadership as they mature, but even young men should demonstrate enough leadership of self to give confidence to a dad that he can take the responsibility to lead that man's daughter.

Last Saturday afternoon two Christian families intertwined, not at the arrangement of the fathers, but at the good pleasure of our Heavenly Father, who in His wisdom and kindness joined together two of His children as husband and wife until death parts them. Their mutual purity and innocent love drew us all into their joyful wedding. Over the next many hours, we laughed and cried, hugged and kissed, praised and petitioned. Then we sent them off to honeymoon in the way the God of heaven intended.

As both her dad and her pastor, I had two roles in the wedding. I also officiated the ceremony. I won't ask you to read the whole of my sermon to them and to all who gathered with us last Saturday, but here are my closing comments to James and Jennifer. It is as close as I can come to extending a blessing on them. They are built on Ephesians 5:22–32, the New Testament's most significant instruction on marriage - one woman and one man for a lifetime.

James, my son, go be Jennifer's husband. For the last 24 years, God gave me the privilege to lead her, but my time is done. I have led her as far as I can. Now the privilege to lead her is yours. In God's grace and with God's blessing, lead God's daughter and my daughter to places she could never go without you, a place where God is glorified and where happiness is both yours and all who interact with your blessed union.

Jennifer, my daughter, go be James's wife. By God's grace your mom and I have tried to build a godly home where you could flourish. Our time is done. Now, in God's grace and with God's blessing, go, my sweetest of children, and build a godly Christian home with this man, a home that brings glory to the name of Jesus and is good for you and to all of us who interact with you.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

What's Your Prediction for 2019?

You’ve seen them before, haven’t you – those silly declarations that Jesus will return on a particular day based on some lunatic’s bizarre interpretation of an obscure Bible text blended weirdly with a current event?

To be sure, Jesus may return as he promised in 2019, but as Jesus said, “The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know (Acts 1:7).”

We place good emphasis on the latter part of Jesus’s words, but let’s not forget the first part of his assertion. Dates and times belong to the Father – not only the date and time of our Lord’s return but the date and time of every activity related to you. The day of your birth was according to the Father’s will as will be the day of your death. All the days between are no different.

We know next to nothing of what a day might bring, but that does not mean the day is random. Looking back on 2018 recalls events you did not see coming. Looking ahead to 2019 is like looking through a pipe into the moonless, starless sky. There’s nothing but blackness. Yet your dates and times from 2018 were under the providence of God, and your dates and times in 2019 will be too. While we will make our plans for the year to come, the Lord will determine our steps (Proverbs 16:9).

Be hopeful, Christian friends, about 2019, not because you’ve crafted a strategy sure to work, but because your Father who is in heaven has.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Of the Father's Love Begotten

Of the Father's love begotten
Ere the worlds began to be,
He is Alpha and Omega,
He the Source, the Ending He,
Of the things that are, that have been,
And that future years shall see
Evermore and evermore.

Oh, that birth forever blessed
When the Virgin, full of grace,
By the Holy Ghost conceiving,
Bare the Savior of our race,
And the Babe, the world's Redeemer,
First revealed His sacred face
Evermore and evermore.

O ye heights of heaven, adore Him;
Angel hosts, His praises sing;
Powers, dominions, bow before Him
And extol our God and King.
Let no tongue on earth be silent,
Every voice in concert ring
Evermore and evermore.

This is He whom Heaven-taught singers
Sang of old with one accord;
Whom the Scriptures of the prophets
Promised in their faithful word.
Now He shines, the Long-expected;
Let creation praise its Lord
Evermore and evermore.

Christ, to Thee, with God the Father,
And, O Holy Ghost, to Thee
Hymn and chant and high thanksgiving
And unending praises be,
Honor, glory, and dominion,
And eternal victory
Evermore and evermore.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

Here to Help With Your Last Minute Christmas Shopping from a Pastor's Point of View

"I'm just not much of a reader."

I'm sure you've heard it before. Maybe you've offered the phrase yourself. But in an age of growing smartphone use, that self-estimation isn't going to cut it much longer. Smartphones are about images and words. We read from them and write on them over and again throughout any given day. Because of your smartphone, you likely are more of a reader and writer than you think you are.

Here are the facts:

• 80% of American men and 75% of American women own a smartphone.

• 94% of the Gen Z and Millennial generations own a smartphone while 89% of older Millennials and those up to age 49 own a smartphone.

• Even retirees embrace smartphones at nearly 50%.

Can we agree the excuse, "I'm not much of a reader," is no longer a valid statement for you and others like you?

Let me connect this to Christmas and the time you're spending right now not buying that last minute gift. You've got one week left to purchase a gift for that hard to buy for family member or friend, how about a book?

You can get recommendations on a wide range of subjects from teachers and the internet. Here are a few from a pastor.

For middle school, high school, and college age guys: Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle. In a handful of chapters, Ryle exposes the four temptations young dudes face: laziness, lust, loving pleasure, and peer pressure. More than exposing the problems, he shows the way out.

If you want to gift a study Bible, I have been using the Zondervan Study Bible for about two years. Without exaggeration, this tool is like having a whole library of Bible helps on every page. It is outstanding.

Only time will tell if a newly published book will stand the test of time. If I were to speculate, I'd anticipate Kevin DeYoung's The Hole in Our Holiness to rise to that level. In less than 150 pages, DeYoung will help you in your maturing Christian Life. As a bonus to all you Vikings' fans, Kirk Cousins endorsed this book!

I am surprised how many Christians have neither read nor heard of John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress. If you give one book as a gift or read one book in the coming year, this is the book. Be sure to read both parts one and two. I actually enjoy part two over part one, but you have to read part one to understand part two. I read this book every other year because it's good for my soul.

You have to read Elisabeth Elliot. Begin with Through the Gates of Splendor, the story of her husband's death along with the deaths of four other missionaries in the jungles of Ecuador. At the time of her husband's martyrdom, Elisabeth was 29-years-old and the mother of a 10-month-old girl. When you've finished her first-hand account of the events leading up to the massacre, read more from her. Her writing produced helps for the whole church, but especially for the girls and women of the church, help we desperately need.

If none of these recommendations fits your gift list, hit me up with a question, and I'll make a suggestion.

I don't recall the first time I heard him say it nor do I know if the quote was original to him, but I was very young when I heard my pastor, Bill Schroeder, say the two influences that will most significantly impact your life are "the people you meet and the books you read." I think he had that right.

• God has given you a good mind, so read.

• God has given us good authors, so read.

• God has given us a wide variety of interests and no shortage of authors on our favorite subjects, so read.

• God's method of revelation of himself to the church is a book, the Bible, so read.

Happy last minute shopping, and thank the Lord for ebooks and two-day shipping on those online book orders.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.

About Those Church Business Meetings

It’s December, so we can expect in our churches…

• The most awesome performance of Away in Manger by the cutest 2-3 year-olds.

• Flexing our lungs as we sing the Gloria from Angels We Have Heard on High.

• Reading from Matthew and Luke the record of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth.

• Sermons from our pastors connecting the babe in the manger to the savior on his cross.

• Annual meetings where we address the budget of the church and the elected officers in the church.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

For our church my hope is our annual meeting contributes to our unity as we come together to discuss the future and our commitment to the ministry of Jesus in the year to come. Money is a part of that future, and the safest place to talk about money should be a local church where Jesus Christ is Lord.

Money conversations in the church can be hard. Like time, money is finite resource. Like time, we spend money only once and then it is gone. Like time, we are responsible to God for our stewardship of the money we possess. Like our use of time, our use of money is subject to opinions within the church.

Which ministry gets more money? Which ministry can be successful with less money? Which maintenance project must take place this year? Which maintenance project can be put off for another year or so? How do we address the needs of staff members within the legitimate constraints and limitations of our resources? What do we set aside for future needs and unanticipated expenses?

In the wisdom of God he has chosen to fund local churches through the generous giving of God’s people. While he could have provided for every church a money tree the church cared for and cultivated on its property, he has not. Instead, he desires the church to reflect his generosity (2 Corinthians 9) in their own giving. We look like God who gave sacrificially and cheerfully in the giving of his son when we give sacrificially and cheerfully to support the work of the local church of which we are members.

The money conversation at the annual meeting in our churches is much more than a discussion about how to spend our money. The money conversation becomes a conversation about what part each of us will play in the provision of the money the church proposes to spend. You work hard to acquire your money, and you want to see your money used of the Lord to fulfill eternal purposes.

There is no shortage of organizations to which you can give away your money. You give it to the work of your local church because you are a member of that church who believes in the mission of the church and its pursuit in following the leadership of Jesus.

Over the decades and centuries of congregational meetings, less than Christlike communication raised the decibel level in the place normally reserved for worship. I suppose there were times when the emotion rightly fell under the banner of “righteous indignation,” but I suspect more often than not the divisive banter was a failure to be of the same mind in Christ and to esteem others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:1-5).

Maybe it would be helpful for us to read Philippians 2:1-11 or 1 Corinthians 13 before we meet to discuss the business of the church.

We are not a social club nor a local non-profit, we are the church of Jesus Christ, and our business meetings should reflect the personality and character of our leader, Jesus Christ.

I hope we Christians can approach our annual meetings with a prayerful disposition that builds the unity of the church, that honors the name of Jesus, and that causes all of us to leave the meeting happy to have been together with our church family.

We better because in just a few days we will sing together, O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant.

As always I welcome your feedback and any suggestions you might have for an upcoming Lunchtime Musing.